Go time for me looked a lot different than I expected it to. First and foremost – with all of our struggles to reach this point, I honestly never thought there’d ever be a “go time.” I was and still am so thankful there ever was! We were lucky. Looking back, we were lucky everything worked the first time. We were lucky my cancer didn’t ruin this for us. We were lucky we were about to have a healthy baby girl.
Our go time looked like me getting admitted to the hospital at 12pm on June 30th. I was admitted to a labor and delivery hospital bed. I was hooked up to a doppler where they monitored our baby girl. After a few hours, I was administered an alpha blocker to began to control my heart rate and bring it down. This alpha blocker WOULD travel through the placenta and reach out baby, which was the main reason for the monitoring in the hospital, otherwise this medication can be taken safely at home.
The thought of a heart medication reaching our baby was absolutely terrifying for me. Plan A was everything going smoothly until July 5th, C-Section done the morning of July 5th after alpha blocker medication was slowly raised in dosage and everything going just fine. Plan B looked like the doppler picking up abnormal heart rhythms and performing an emergency c-section and hope the alpha blocker wear off quickly on our baby. We made it this far and I felt like I was about to put our girl in a dangerous situation. There was a lot of guilt, a lot of not wanting to do this, a lot of what ifs.
I trusted I had the best team to do this for us.
A few days went by and baby girl and I were having no adverse side effects. Thank goodness!
July 4th came and we knew the next day we were going to be getting ready to become a family of three. Toby and I spent a lot of time together that day just laying low, watching the doppler like crazy because we had ONE day left and just elated for the next morning.
I remember everyone telling me to get as much rest as possible. I didn’t sleep AT ALL. I watched the doppler literally every second that night to ensure there were no issues. I felt like Murphy’s law – if something was going to happen, it would of course be the very last second.
Nothing bad happened. We would be meeting our sweet baby girl in the morning.