The few days following Thanksgiving were all a bit surreal. We had our amazing news! I continued to take pregnancy tests every other day to test for darker and darker lines. Comparing every test to the prior one to confirm what we already knew – I was pregnant!
10 days following the implantation, we had our appointment with the doctor for the blood test. I didn’t tell them that I had already taken a test. The nurse and phlebotomist there had become somewhat close with me and I know they wanted to give me the news first hand.
If I hadn’t tested prior, I probably would have been freaking out. This blood test was the most difficult one I have ever had to find a vein. I’m a difficult stick – my veins roll, they go flat, they stop pumping with blood, they’re seriously invisible. I’m a phlebotomist’s nightmare. Today was no exception – to the point where I had to do push ups in the doctor’s office, they even threatened to try to find a vein between my toes – hell no! I feel like I would have taken it as a bad omen if I didn’t know the news was going to be positive.
They finally found a vein after the 6th poke, yes the 6th! I went to work after and starred at my phone the entire day until 5:45pm when Angel, my nurse (also, an angel by definition) called with a very serious tone. “Lauren…are you somewhere we can talk?” In my mind, I’m thinking, “She’s messing with me. She sounds so serious. Wait, is she messing with me? Omg. What is happening. I’m at work. I can’t get bad news at work when I thought we were golden. What is happening?!” Sure enough she says, “It’s positive!!” Then she went on to tell me she knew I took a test. I guess my poker face isn’t as good as I thought, but who cares?! I have a baby coming! Ain’t no one got time for poker.
Cloud 9 was in full throttle. We had an appointment a couple weeks later for the ultra sound where we were already able to see the heartbeat! It was insane. We were told to not expect to see much, if anything. The doctor was even impressed that the heartbeat was already there. Tears were streaming down both of our faces. Watching your baby develop like that is truly something special.
The day after the ultrasound we had plans to go to Kauai. We double checked with our doctor that this was safe and he gave us the ok.
Here’s a little synopsis of how our vacation went:
Day 1: Fly to Kauai. Go to a local brewery with yummy food. Pick up lemonade for myself and wine for Toby. Drink it on a hammock while watching the sunset.
Day 2: Explore the island. Get a shave ice at some famous place that pours sweet cream on top and shove the whole thing down my throat. Come back to our condo and grill burgers. Get up to wash dishes and feel a SHARP pain in my abdomen. Run to the restroom to find a quite a bit of blood and a blood clot.
I couldn’t stop crying. I called Toby in and we were literally dissecting the clot. Gross, I know. But, could this be a miscarriage? Could this be our baby that we were already madly in love with. We just saw the heartbeat two days ago.
I was shaking uncontrollably. Called my mom so she could try to help talk me through whatever was happening. E-mail Angel, she immediately emailed back to stay on bedrest, up my progesterone shots (oh, did I mention progesterone shots yet? That I did over 112 of them and built giant welts that the needle and syringe would literally shoot back out at Toby. Ouch.), and I had to stay calm. We were out of town and the only option for me to get an immediate answer would be to go to the emergency room. That would be a huge bill. It wasn’t a great option. I just needed to stay lying low the rest of our vacation, which was fine. Kauai will still be there for us to come back to, WITH our baby.
Day 3 – No more bleeding. I started feeling confident that the blood was just a weird little hiccup and we were ok. Stayed in bed all day long outside of walking 10 feet to the jacuzzi and dipping my feet in and getting into an in depth conversation with a couple, who wasn’t really a couple, but went on all these romantic vacations together while being married to other people….tangent, talked to them about diving with sharks.
Day 4 – Still no blood – let’s explore, BUT I’m taking it easy. We drove around the island, as far as we could drive, went to beautiful, HOT beaches, got delicious food and some fresh fish tacos on the beach from a food truck, started driving back and got out of the car to look at a beautiful lighthouse. I felt a weird pain again, looked down to see more blood than ever before. If the first blood clot we saw wasn’t a miscarriage, we were pretty sure this was. Oh, and we were traveling with our friend who didn’t know what was going on and I had to keep it together in the car. Like, couldn’t tell Toby because he was outside standing with our friend. Just had to say, “Hey, can we go back? I’m feeling a bit off.” I ran into the condo as soon as we got back to find a clot the size of a silver dollar. I went through all the motions again. E-mailed Angel. Called my mom. This time I posted on the Facebook support groups asking for their opinions and advice.
Day 5, 6 and 7 – Bed Rest. Not much happened these days except for lots of tears in bed. Since our friend came, I wasn’t going to let this ruin his trip and made Toby go out with him. I watched a lot of HGTV and Hallmark Holiday movies. It’s so hard to try to pass the time when you don’t know what the hell is going on.
Day 8 – Fly back home. I was terrified to get out of bed. Terrified to go up in a plane to risk pressure and elevation maybe causing an issue. Terrified to know that we’re going to the doctor the next day to find out if we are even pregnant still. The flight back was GRUELING. When I say I’m jinxed with airplanes, I mean it. Every flight I go on is canceled, delayed, they find drugs on, they forget to schedule a pilot, forget to get fuel. You name it, I’ve been on that flight. Today was no exception. We are ALMOST home, flying into San Diego when the Pilot comes on and says “Folks, hate to say it, but we are not landing in San Diego tonight. It’s too foggy. Going to be turning around and landing in Los Angeles.” Dude. Dude, come on. My parents were parked waiting for us with burritos. It was 10:45pm. I wanted to be home. I wanted to curl up in our bed and go to the doctor in the morning and get good news. Now we have to figure out how we are even getting home tonight. Long story short…shorter, we land in LA, they have busses outside for us to drive us to San Diego airport, yes 50 minutes south of our house, so we can drive right back up to it. So. Dumb. We are filing into the busses like a bunch of convicts who just got done doing community service on the 405 freeway when I trip over my suitcase, my laptop falls on the ground and gets a huge dent and I start crying – wouldn’t you? We look up how much it would be to get an Uber home from LA. It was about $250 and worth EVERY penny. I would have probably paid $500 honestly. Poor 70 year old Uber driving didn’t know how long of drive he was getting himself into at 12:45am.